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17, still young and having more time. But for me it doesn't sound right, because I felt like I was getting behind. When you ask other teenagers about their dreams or what they want to be in the future, most people will answer immediately; they will answer that they want to be a nurse, doctor, engineer, architect, and many more. But if you ask me what I want to be, I will say, “I don’t know.” When I was a child, I had so many dreams I even copied my sister's dream; she wanted to be a chef, flight attendant, and teacher, and so did I. When I was in G10, I think that was the hardest moment for me because I was turning senior high school and still didn't know what strand I was going to take. So I ask my friends, “Guys, ano strand kukunin niyo? ” They answer “STEM,” and they ask me back what strand I want. I say “hindi ko alam.” When time passes by, I finally decide to take STEM not because I want to but because I don’t know what to choose, so I follow my friends. They take STEM because they want to be a nurse, and me? I don't know what to take in college.And that hurts me, because why does everybody have a dream but not me? Why can't I still figure out what I want to do? i hate myself for being a person who don't have a dream. But being 17 means just starting to explore the world. There are still so many things that you don't know, and you still don't figure out. because I know that having a dream is not always instant. Maybe I need more experiences, failures, or even more hobbies to figure out what I'm good at. Because not having them means that I'm hopeless, or maybe I'm just still in the process of learning who I am or what I really want. Maybe 17 is still young, and I have more time, and I should believe that. And maybe I'm not left behind; this is just my beginning. |
